Tuesday, May 3, 2011

A Mystery Writer's Prayer

Dear God,

Please send me:

James Patterson's sales

P. D. James's longevity

Charlaine Harris's smile

David Morrell's wisdom

Louise Penny's powers of description

Daphne du Maurier's sense of drama

Otto Penzler for a mentor

Sue Grafton's pacing

Dashiell Hammett's clarity

Laura Lippman's awards

Agatha Christie's productivity

Graham Greene's brains

Harlan Coben's charm

Nora Roberts/J.D. robb's sex-writing skills

Jim Thompson's bloodlust

Mary Higgins Clark's fan base

J. A. Konrath's promotion savvy

Oprah for my BFF

Sara Paretsky's sense of place

Jan Burke's forensic science knowledge

and Elmore Leonard's (metaphorical) balls

If all that is too much to ask, please just send an elephant to sit on me so I'll stay put and finish my next book.

Thanks, Laura

7 comments:

jedidiah ayres said...

done

Laura Benedict said...

Awesome. Clearing the mantle now!

Coolkayaker1 said...

You forgot to say, send me Kim Kardashian's hair. Elton John's flair. Christina Aguilara's voice. And Ellen Degeneres's charisma.

Oh, wait a sec. Yours are all literary. Hmmm.

OK, then, send me JD Salinger's "voice". And his willingness to stick his ass in a chair and let nobody, not journalists, townsfolk, wife or even kids, wrestle him away from the typewriter. Now that guy knew how to stay in one spot!

Monica said...

No, I don't think you've forgotten a thing. Excellent!

JP - The Mistress of Corgi Manor said...

Amen!

Chevy Stevens said...

Love this!!!!!

Michelle's Spell said...

Love this list! I'll have to come up with one -- umm, Flannery O'Connor's sense of humor, Mary Karr's flair, Sue Kaufman's voice . . . there's more, I'm sure!